Writing: Age rage

Snatched away by time, my life
at odds and for ever lost.
Hatred, sadness, angered strife
youth and fearless beauty tossed.

At odds with the world, forever lost
waste-away body, forgetting mind.
Youth and fearless beauty tossed
drooping, sagging, furrowed, blind.

Waste-away body, forgetting mind
age, experience and new world collide.
Drooping, sagging, furrowed, blind
stolen from me, my relevance died?

Age, experience and new world collide
hatred, sadness, angered strife.
Stolen from me, my relevance died?
Snatched away by time, my life!

Feature image: My grandmother and I. She played a pinnacle role in my life.
She passed away at 85 in 2007.

Every time another decade passes, and every five years in between, I usually go through a life-changing event. I have in the past five years become critically aware of how age changes life – the way you think, sit, breath. It takes longer to recover from injury or illness, it takes more effort to get up from the couch and so on. Yet my mind still believes it’s 1990 and I’m still in high school.

I am shocked at the world around me, and have bitter sweet memories of my childhood as the “best time” that anyone could have grown up in. What makes me sad is that the new young people will never have experienced what I have and, although I am living in their growing-up world, I feel like an outsider. I don’t understand them, I don’t get them, I don’t feel them.

I wish I could have my life over – oh the things I would change. I wish I could turn the clock back to when I was 35. I wish I could stop time.

Writing this poem I remembered many things my grandmother used to say, and now my mother. It’s made me more aware of how I do not want to grow old, and how it will be my personal challenge to defy age with every bit of life I have within me!

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